Breaking

You are in the process of self destructing.
You are severing your hands and arms 

Trying to hang onto someone who doesn’t want you.

Breaking your back

Carrying relationships

That give you little in return.

The Hardest Part.

The hardest part was writing you love letters you didn’t care to read.

I sent my love.

You put the unopened envelope into a new one with my address and sent it back.

Just to show me you received it,

You just didn’t care to read.

Pristine

You were never jaded
Never worn down
Or torn after all these years

Artwork standing intact 

Workmanship like you is slowly fading extinct 

Ever since sixteen candles decorated your cake

You’ve reminded me of the Sistine Chapel

You were pristine battles where bullets of sweat and paint landed exactly where they were meant to.

Finding a frame to match is humanly impossible,

So your figure is Gods doing.

And nothing this breathtaking should be stationary.

Which is why you’re never content. 

How To Raise A Black Boy

Does the juxtaposition of the words “Black” “Lives” &”Matter” make you upset?

Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?

When a black child is murdered by police,

Do you ask “why” or “why didn’t he get on his knees”

When armed shooters with lack of color

Are still allowed to see their mother.

Black fathers taken from their children before birth

Black children six feet beneath earth

Naive young me used to question why so often.

I remember asking my mom why I couldn’t have a nerf gun.

I promised I wouldn’t shoot it at, or hurt anyone.

Mom, it’s cold why can’t I wear my hood at night?

It’s not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.

Danny and Nick are doing it, why can’t I play ding dong ditch

Jesus Christ mom stop being such a god damn bitch.

I always viewed my parents as overprotective

Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn’t tell why

My dad always seemed a bit aggressive

All because they were doing things just to keep me alive

I was never awarded my adolescence

Coming home from school to added lessons

I wasn’t afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions

Because of others misinformed filthy religions

I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless

My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less

I could have been just words on a tombstone

Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known

It wasn’t until now that I understand why I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes

Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn’t get a court date

I know now.

I know now that my life doesn’t matter more than that of a deer

“Is it hunting season on a niggas ass” wasn’t a joke, but actually fear.

Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees

Black bodies now lie in the streets

Silence is empowering the other side

So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.

This Could Be Us But You Playing

That could be us but you playing.
That would be nice why you delaying.
You say all the right things
And do all of the wrong
All of the lies you sing
Got me replaying your songs
Perfection in no discretion in our mannerisms
Affections with no rejection. Can you listen?
See me for me and I see you for you
All your potential is beautiful.
I’m used to you
So what are you saying?
This could be us but you playing.

Black in America

Bu97XOeIUAAMgzp

America my dear..
Keep our souls near.
Too many shirts saying Rest In Peace
You see me as a lesser me.
How can that be?
It seems like genocide.
At least from my eyes.
I don’t blame white people
For not seeing us as equals.
We’ve been desensitized
Black people dying is so common that it doesn’t make the news.
Bloods singing the blues.
Prisons are filled with faces that resemble mine.
Even looking through a prism i can see were behind enemy lines.
But I don’t blame YOU.
You will remain you until you see it through my eyes.
I leave the house knowing that a white man can take my life
At any time
Claim he was threatened
And get off scotch free.
To you we are peasants..
“Who gon stop me”
Oh… hi officer.
You say I look lost sir?
All I did was make a U-turn
And look that made you turn
Suspicious?
Hah. One day i’ll taste freedom and it will be delicious.
Your inner sense
And lack of innocence tells you not to trust us…
It’s just us.
My skin pigment will forever mean no justice.
Case closed. Why bring me before a jury when you’ve already judged us?
Why wake up in the morning when I know both my own race and whites would love to see me fail?
You can be as blind as you want. But the words are in braille.

Capturing Scattered Thoughts

I don’t know what you see in me

I hope its more than the scenery

its quite possible here is where i need to be

sometimes.. i feel flustered

cause my mind is constantly cluttered

full of thoughts i never uttered

you got me finding euphoria

while surrounded by paranoia

you never cease to amaze me..

the true definition of a lady..

i don’t really wanna pass that up

i know its love and i’m stuck in lust

damn.. there i fucking go again

i got feelings to but i wont ever notice them

maybe from time to time

i treat you sub par knowing you’re sublime

this could start a war but its worth it

a queen like you deserves to be worshiped

that might occur but i doubt it

i’d rather you whisper than to shout it

nothing last forever however love is timeless

we can last together loving you is mindless

i’ll call you so you can hear my vocal joints..

eyes stuck on you, you maintain my focal point

shes got me going places it usually hurts to go..

not sure if this is love, but definitely vertigo.

you know who i am may differ from typical me

you know way more than just physical me

Fell in love with you, I won’t ever try to climb out,

you logged into my heart, I pray you never go to sign out

I don’t know what you see in me,

I hope its more than the scenery,

words can’t describe how much your love means to me

Although our love isn’t traditional,

the love stands unconditional.

Sandcastles (poem)

Long walks on the beach
Looking into your eyes 
I stretch out and reach
My hand lands with yours beside 
My only demand is yours in mine.
Nothing else in mind.
Children take their time
Building their sandcastles. 
We kick them over and laugh
Let’s spend the whole day together. 
Wishing that we remain forever.
You sit in your throne, higher than any other woman could ever be.
I’m your King, you my Queen deserve the better me.
We’re out of the country but this is such a beautiful state.
Seems as though time is moving at an unusual pace.
Let’s band together and march to the beat of my heart.
If we stand together how could we fall apart?
Things change. 
Times change. 
People do too.
I never thought
I’d see the day
Where I see through, you..
It All Falls Down. 
Things Fall Apart. 
Cracks in your crown,
Pierce in my heart. 
I wish you were mine.
I wish to be blind. 
Because now I’m finding 
The castle I spent my precious time designing 
was made of sand.. 
You kicked it over and laughed. 

Bed Peace

Staring at your hour glass shape. Not caring it’s an hour past 8. 2 hours past late for work and I didn’t call in. You got something I could slip and fall in. I don’t want to leave this bed. My peace. My serenity. Maybe I’m forming a dependency.  I watch you close like an enemy with hopes you don’t have to remember me. Instead.. I’d rather fall asleep to your hair in my face, and wake up to your morning breath.. sunny days are nice but I enjoy when it’s storming best. 

Silent Pleas

You ever been defeated?

So many times

to the point where it depleted you?

Almost deleted you?

Me either..

I guess i just lied to the reader.

Lied to myself as usual.

I’ve filed down my nails to the cuticles

so I no longer cut myself.

How is it, that i love everyone but myself?

Yet, I’m hurt by all

You heard me fall.

The screams, the yells.

Me begging for help.

Or maybe you didn’t notice the signs,

or you did,

you just weren’t focused on mine.

All caught up in life and its hopeless design

and all I could manage to get out were whispers.

Like a cat and its whiskers,

you helped me balance.

You hawked me down and trapped me in your talons.

Brought me to new heights

just to let me go?

well. Let me go..

You were the only one that could save me.

Silent pleas.

Silence please.