Breaking

You are in the process of self destructing.
You are severing your hands and arms 

Trying to hang onto someone who doesn’t want you.

Breaking your back

Carrying relationships

That give you little in return.

Adam and Eve

I knew women were strong when I read God had split an atom with Eve
I heard the story differently

I was taught of an adamant Eve

Who not only had a degree

Or three

But who taught me to speak

So forgive me if every word I utter is praise towards the black women.

My god.

I pray for the black women.

That I was could one day have the strength to match that of a black woman.

They remind us as black men, our strengths are jumping and running

But I would never jump or run away

You feel like summer days

Perfectly tempered air I could breathe until the end of my days.

Save Yourselves First

“It doesn’t matter any longer And I’m speaking for myself

For Jimmy Baldwin

And I think I’m speaking for a great many other negroes too

It doesn’t matter any longer what you do to me.

You can put me in jail.

You can kill me.

By the time I was 17, you’d done everything that you could do to me.

The problem now is,

How are you going to save yourselves.” – James Baldwin
You’ve never stuck a fork in an outlet,

because you know better.

Not because you’ve witnessed the outcome,

But when parents warn you

Sometimes you listen without asking how come. 

The stove

The block

The iron

They’re all hot.

Put your hand on one like Russian Roulette 

Go ahead and take your shot.

I’m watching blood boil

People not caring about the degrees

Revenge starts to look like a delicacy

There are no reservations 

For self preservation 

Enlightening revelations

Stay warm in the winter time.

Do whatever is necessary.

If you die before martyrdom

How could you be legendary?

Don’t blame others for your negligency 

Stay warm, don’t freeze. 

Liquor store seems to be serving delicacies

But only hard liquor

No beer under 30 percent 

Niggas against the draft

Didn’t mean to pretense the past.

Good Morning Vietnam

We could all pretend for laughs.

My skin is reminiscent of a Kong

My skin automatically makes me a con

But it doesn’t matter any longer

Save yourselves first.

How To Raise A Black Boy

Does the juxtaposition of the words “Black” “Lives” &”Matter” make you upset?

Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?

When a black child is murdered by police,

Do you ask “why” or “why didn’t he get on his knees”

When armed shooters with lack of color

Are still allowed to see their mother.

Black fathers taken from their children before birth

Black children six feet beneath earth

Naive young me used to question why so often.

I remember asking my mom why I couldn’t have a nerf gun.

I promised I wouldn’t shoot it at, or hurt anyone.

Mom, it’s cold why can’t I wear my hood at night?

It’s not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.

Danny and Nick are doing it, why can’t I play ding dong ditch

Jesus Christ mom stop being such a god damn bitch.

I always viewed my parents as overprotective

Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn’t tell why

My dad always seemed a bit aggressive

All because they were doing things just to keep me alive

I was never awarded my adolescence

Coming home from school to added lessons

I wasn’t afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions

Because of others misinformed filthy religions

I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless

My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less

I could have been just words on a tombstone

Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known

It wasn’t until now that I understand why I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes

Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn’t get a court date

I know now.

I know now that my life doesn’t matter more than that of a deer

“Is it hunting season on a niggas ass” wasn’t a joke, but actually fear.

Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees

Black bodies now lie in the streets

Silence is empowering the other side

So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.

Black in America

Bu97XOeIUAAMgzp

America my dear..
Keep our souls near.
Too many shirts saying Rest In Peace
You see me as a lesser me.
How can that be?
It seems like genocide.
At least from my eyes.
I don’t blame white people
For not seeing us as equals.
We’ve been desensitized
Black people dying is so common that it doesn’t make the news.
Bloods singing the blues.
Prisons are filled with faces that resemble mine.
Even looking through a prism i can see were behind enemy lines.
But I don’t blame YOU.
You will remain you until you see it through my eyes.
I leave the house knowing that a white man can take my life
At any time
Claim he was threatened
And get off scotch free.
To you we are peasants..
“Who gon stop me”
Oh… hi officer.
You say I look lost sir?
All I did was make a U-turn
And look that made you turn
Suspicious?
Hah. One day i’ll taste freedom and it will be delicious.
Your inner sense
And lack of innocence tells you not to trust us…
It’s just us.
My skin pigment will forever mean no justice.
Case closed. Why bring me before a jury when you’ve already judged us?
Why wake up in the morning when I know both my own race and whites would love to see me fail?
You can be as blind as you want. But the words are in braille.

Capturing Scattered Thoughts

I don’t know what you see in me

I hope its more than the scenery

its quite possible here is where i need to be

sometimes.. i feel flustered

cause my mind is constantly cluttered

full of thoughts i never uttered

you got me finding euphoria

while surrounded by paranoia

you never cease to amaze me..

the true definition of a lady..

i don’t really wanna pass that up

i know its love and i’m stuck in lust

damn.. there i fucking go again

i got feelings to but i wont ever notice them

maybe from time to time

i treat you sub par knowing you’re sublime

this could start a war but its worth it

a queen like you deserves to be worshiped

that might occur but i doubt it

i’d rather you whisper than to shout it

nothing last forever however love is timeless

we can last together loving you is mindless

i’ll call you so you can hear my vocal joints..

eyes stuck on you, you maintain my focal point

shes got me going places it usually hurts to go..

not sure if this is love, but definitely vertigo.

you know who i am may differ from typical me

you know way more than just physical me

Fell in love with you, I won’t ever try to climb out,

you logged into my heart, I pray you never go to sign out

I don’t know what you see in me,

I hope its more than the scenery,

words can’t describe how much your love means to me

Although our love isn’t traditional,

the love stands unconditional.

Sandcastles (poem)

Long walks on the beach
Looking into your eyes 
I stretch out and reach
My hand lands with yours beside 
My only demand is yours in mine.
Nothing else in mind.
Children take their time
Building their sandcastles. 
We kick them over and laugh
Let’s spend the whole day together. 
Wishing that we remain forever.
You sit in your throne, higher than any other woman could ever be.
I’m your King, you my Queen deserve the better me.
We’re out of the country but this is such a beautiful state.
Seems as though time is moving at an unusual pace.
Let’s band together and march to the beat of my heart.
If we stand together how could we fall apart?
Things change. 
Times change. 
People do too.
I never thought
I’d see the day
Where I see through, you..
It All Falls Down. 
Things Fall Apart. 
Cracks in your crown,
Pierce in my heart. 
I wish you were mine.
I wish to be blind. 
Because now I’m finding 
The castle I spent my precious time designing 
was made of sand.. 
You kicked it over and laughed. 

Too Young To Care

How I got images to uphold,
I still got images to upload,
My Instagram don’t once close.
Last year I had to ask to use the bathroom in school
Now you expect me to make real life decisions
How can you blame me for acting a fool
Textbooks are bibles. I studied what was written.
What was written doesn’t help me in real life.
What I’m living isn’t as simple as wrong versus right.
What I was given seems like a knife to a gunfight.
I’m trying to back flip through taxes
while these asses throw axes
And tell me to survive.
For now I’m alive.

Silent Pleas

You ever been defeated?

So many times

to the point where it depleted you?

Almost deleted you?

Me either..

I guess i just lied to the reader.

Lied to myself as usual.

I’ve filed down my nails to the cuticles

so I no longer cut myself.

How is it, that i love everyone but myself?

Yet, I’m hurt by all

You heard me fall.

The screams, the yells.

Me begging for help.

Or maybe you didn’t notice the signs,

or you did,

you just weren’t focused on mine.

All caught up in life and its hopeless design

and all I could manage to get out were whispers.

Like a cat and its whiskers,

you helped me balance.

You hawked me down and trapped me in your talons.

Brought me to new heights

just to let me go?

well. Let me go..

You were the only one that could save me.

Silent pleas.

Silence please.

Too Young

I was too young

You were young too but …

I was too young

What can I say? What do you want me to say? That was back in the day, them Acura days.

When I was acting afraid. You happened to say your favorite phrase,

“Punk you hatin”

then said “I missed my period”

Which is weird because you don’t ever use punctuation.

I know it’s a text but uhhh, maybe I didn’t hear well.

Well, it aint fair but i responded “Farewell.”

You applied for welfare checks because we don’t live in Bel-Air

It’s hell here.

Good luck.