The Hardest Part.

The hardest part was writing you love letters you didn’t care to read.

I sent my love.

You put the unopened envelope into a new one with my address and sent it back.

Just to show me you received it,

You just didn’t care to read.

Pristine

You were never jaded
Never worn down
Or torn after all these years

Artwork standing intact 

Workmanship like you is slowly fading extinct 

Ever since sixteen candles decorated your cake

You’ve reminded me of the Sistine Chapel

You were pristine battles where bullets of sweat and paint landed exactly where they were meant to.

Finding a frame to match is humanly impossible,

So your figure is Gods doing.

And nothing this breathtaking should be stationary.

Which is why you’re never content. 

How To Raise A Black Boy

Does the juxtaposition of the words “Black” “Lives” &”Matter” make you upset?

Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?

When a black child is murdered by police,

Do you ask “why” or “why didn’t he get on his knees”

When armed shooters with lack of color

Are still allowed to see their mother.

Black fathers taken from their children before birth

Black children six feet beneath earth

Naive young me used to question why so often.

I remember asking my mom why I couldn’t have a nerf gun.

I promised I wouldn’t shoot it at, or hurt anyone.

Mom, it’s cold why can’t I wear my hood at night?

It’s not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.

Danny and Nick are doing it, why can’t I play ding dong ditch

Jesus Christ mom stop being such a god damn bitch.

I always viewed my parents as overprotective

Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn’t tell why

My dad always seemed a bit aggressive

All because they were doing things just to keep me alive

I was never awarded my adolescence

Coming home from school to added lessons

I wasn’t afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions

Because of others misinformed filthy religions

I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless

My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less

I could have been just words on a tombstone

Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known

It wasn’t until now that I understand why I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes

Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn’t get a court date

I know now.

I know now that my life doesn’t matter more than that of a deer

“Is it hunting season on a niggas ass” wasn’t a joke, but actually fear.

Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees

Black bodies now lie in the streets

Silence is empowering the other side

So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.

Silent Pleas

Have you ever been defeated

So many times
To the point where it depleted you
Almost deleted you from existence
Me either.
I guess I just lied to the reader
Lied to myself as usual
I’ve filed down my nails to the cuticles
So i can no longer cut myself
How is it, i love everyone but myself
But I’m hurt by all
You heard me fall.
The screams. The yells.
Me begging for your help.
Or maybe you didn’t notice the signs,
Or you did,
You just weren’t focused on mine
All caught up in life and it’s hopeless design.
Maybe all i got out were whispers..
Like a cat and it’s whiskers,
You helped me maintain balance.
You hawked me down, and took me into your talons.
Brought me to new heights
Just to let me go?
Let me go…
You were the only one that could save me.
Silent pleas.

This Could Be Us But You Playing

That could be us but you playing.
That would be nice why you delaying.
You say all the right things
And do all of the wrong
All of the lies you sing
Got me replaying your songs
Perfection in no discretion in our mannerisms
Affections with no rejection. Can you listen?
See me for me and I see you for you
All your potential is beautiful.
I’m used to you
So what are you saying?
This could be us but you playing.

Play On Playa

There’s a thousand you’s and only one of me.
I’m what the crowd views, but you’re the one I see
I could arouse you but won’t sweep you off your feet
You see
I’ve been with too many to settle down
To picture you in a wedding gown
Perfect picture posture
Kodak moments fit ya proper
Selfies on South Beach of our feet
And your hair blowing in the wind
Brazilian tan glowing on your skin
Eiffel Tower behind ya
Cold shower remind ya
I’ve been the other nigga one too many times hun
Her man calling while my dick is raw inside her.
And at that moment “deeper” is her only desire
Once I sense myself falling
And allowed it
Incapable again of being that man calling
Insatiable pain last time that’s why I’m stalling
You bitches are fucking evil.
The most vindictive of people.
But you want me to love and trust
What about touch and lust
Cause those random fucks a rush
One night stand
No names exchanged
Our tied hands
No shame remains
I COULD let you in,
You’ll think you can rescue him
Nah, alert my next of kin
Time of death, 4:47am
I cant live a lie
Damned by my pride
Another lie
It’s not pride
Just my defensive side
Your pensive eyes.
Just give it up…
Give it up.