Breaking

You are in the process of self destructing.
You are severing your hands and arms 

Trying to hang onto someone who doesn’t want you.

Breaking your back

Carrying relationships

That give you little in return.

Pristine

You were never jaded
Never worn down
Or torn after all these years

Artwork standing intact 

Workmanship like you is slowly fading extinct 

Ever since sixteen candles decorated your cake

You’ve reminded me of the Sistine Chapel

You were pristine battles where bullets of sweat and paint landed exactly where they were meant to.

Finding a frame to match is humanly impossible,

So your figure is Gods doing.

And nothing this breathtaking should be stationary.

Which is why you’re never content. 

If I Never Met You

To love and have lost is better than to have never have loved at all.
But if I never tasted chocolate I wouldn’t know what I was missing.

If I never had sex I would still be satisfied with kissing 

If I never took a breath I wouldn’t care to go fishing.

And if I never saw it straight would the Leaning Tower be tipping?

I wished I never knew the sun so these rainy days were normal.

As each drop fell I would enjoy the way it ruptured as it made contact with my skin

I wished my love never adorned you so the undressing was less formal.

Imagine rough skin casually peeled off so I could truly love you from within

Save Yourselves First

“It doesn’t matter any longer And I’m speaking for myself

For Jimmy Baldwin

And I think I’m speaking for a great many other negroes too

It doesn’t matter any longer what you do to me.

You can put me in jail.

You can kill me.

By the time I was 17, you’d done everything that you could do to me.

The problem now is,

How are you going to save yourselves.” – James Baldwin
You’ve never stuck a fork in an outlet,

because you know better.

Not because you’ve witnessed the outcome,

But when parents warn you

Sometimes you listen without asking how come. 

The stove

The block

The iron

They’re all hot.

Put your hand on one like Russian Roulette 

Go ahead and take your shot.

I’m watching blood boil

People not caring about the degrees

Revenge starts to look like a delicacy

There are no reservations 

For self preservation 

Enlightening revelations

Stay warm in the winter time.

Do whatever is necessary.

If you die before martyrdom

How could you be legendary?

Don’t blame others for your negligency 

Stay warm, don’t freeze. 

Liquor store seems to be serving delicacies

But only hard liquor

No beer under 30 percent 

Niggas against the draft

Didn’t mean to pretense the past.

Good Morning Vietnam

We could all pretend for laughs.

My skin is reminiscent of a Kong

My skin automatically makes me a con

But it doesn’t matter any longer

Save yourselves first.

How To Raise A Black Boy

Does the juxtaposition of the words “Black” “Lives” &”Matter” make you upset?

Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?

When a black child is murdered by police,

Do you ask “why” or “why didn’t he get on his knees”

When armed shooters with lack of color

Are still allowed to see their mother.

Black fathers taken from their children before birth

Black children six feet beneath earth

Naive young me used to question why so often.

I remember asking my mom why I couldn’t have a nerf gun.

I promised I wouldn’t shoot it at, or hurt anyone.

Mom, it’s cold why can’t I wear my hood at night?

It’s not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.

Danny and Nick are doing it, why can’t I play ding dong ditch

Jesus Christ mom stop being such a god damn bitch.

I always viewed my parents as overprotective

Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn’t tell why

My dad always seemed a bit aggressive

All because they were doing things just to keep me alive

I was never awarded my adolescence

Coming home from school to added lessons

I wasn’t afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions

Because of others misinformed filthy religions

I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless

My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less

I could have been just words on a tombstone

Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known

It wasn’t until now that I understand why I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes

Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn’t get a court date

I know now.

I know now that my life doesn’t matter more than that of a deer

“Is it hunting season on a niggas ass” wasn’t a joke, but actually fear.

Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees

Black bodies now lie in the streets

Silence is empowering the other side

So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.

Been That Way [Poem]

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I want that old thing back

Like a soul train lap,
Let me go one more time.
Feels like it was summer time
Nice day, perfect temperature
What a tempting adventure.
We travel down memory lane
Unravel the tendency of pain.
You make me the happiest yet,
I’m still not the happiest yet.
But it’s always been that way.
Nothing’s changed,
Running game,
Breaking hearts,
Taking names.
But I still remember
Middle of september
High school in 2008
My foolish self couldn’t wait
It was instant
The way we fell in love
When did we become so distant,
Everything is so different.
Except my mission.
And it’s always been that way.
It’s been too many years to count
And you’re still the one that I write about
Each time we talk still feels like the first time.
Every time you leave it feels like the worst time.
Our hearts seem connected forever
Our minds just don’t get each other.
From wondering
To wandering
Now look and you conquering
Taking life by the horns
Breaking right through the storms
You’re the ray of sunshine on a cloudy day
Baby its been that way.
Over the years, I’ve been with different women
Some of them were consistent women
Persistent in taking your position
No pertinence so they never had permission.
Only you ever had my admission
You opened my heart and you entered.
Went so deep that you found the center.
Maybe it’s cynical
But you’ve always been the pinnacle.
It’s always been that way.
Some things don’t change.
I still get blamed
You still take aim
We can’t be tamed.
So we try to maintain,
Somehow we still feel the same.
Some things don’t change
I can’t complain.
Hasn’t it been that way?
I want that old thing back
Looking through these Kodaks
Wishing I could go back.
Maybe grow my fro back
Then switch to the high fade.
And you bring back the braids,
The ones from eighth grade.
Back to when our eyes first met
Before things went left.
Before mystery.
Before misery.
Before walls fell
Broke loose all hell
Before likes
Before fights
Before bites
Before bikes.
When a hug was an embrace.
When I could wipe tears off your face
Ones that I didn’t cause
When you didn’t see my flaws.
We just gave the other our all.
When a touch felt like being caressed.
When each kiss felt like our last breath.
But it’s always been that way.

Silent Pleas

Have you ever been defeated

So many times
To the point where it depleted you
Almost deleted you from existence
Me either.
I guess I just lied to the reader
Lied to myself as usual
I’ve filed down my nails to the cuticles
So i can no longer cut myself
How is it, i love everyone but myself
But I’m hurt by all
You heard me fall.
The screams. The yells.
Me begging for your help.
Or maybe you didn’t notice the signs,
Or you did,
You just weren’t focused on mine
All caught up in life and it’s hopeless design.
Maybe all i got out were whispers..
Like a cat and it’s whiskers,
You helped me maintain balance.
You hawked me down, and took me into your talons.
Brought me to new heights
Just to let me go?
Let me go…
You were the only one that could save me.
Silent pleas.

This Could Be Us But You Playing

That could be us but you playing.
That would be nice why you delaying.
You say all the right things
And do all of the wrong
All of the lies you sing
Got me replaying your songs
Perfection in no discretion in our mannerisms
Affections with no rejection. Can you listen?
See me for me and I see you for you
All your potential is beautiful.
I’m used to you
So what are you saying?
This could be us but you playing.