The Hardest Part.

The hardest part was writing you love letters you didn’t care to read.

I sent my love.

You put the unopened envelope into a new one with my address and sent it back.

Just to show me you received it,

You just didn’t care to read.

Wise Decisions

Taste is relative. 

Life gives a perfect balance of lemons and sugar, you have to create your own juice.

A man between life and death, when given more than enough rope to survive will make his own noose

Choices can take your last breath.

How To Raise A Black Boy

Does the juxtaposition of the words “Black” “Lives” &”Matter” make you upset?

Black bodies hanging from poplar trees, would you have wept?

When a black child is murdered by police,

Do you ask “why” or “why didn’t he get on his knees”

When armed shooters with lack of color

Are still allowed to see their mother.

Black fathers taken from their children before birth

Black children six feet beneath earth

Naive young me used to question why so often.

I remember asking my mom why I couldn’t have a nerf gun.

I promised I wouldn’t shoot it at, or hurt anyone.

Mom, it’s cold why can’t I wear my hood at night?

It’s not in my eyes I promise I can see alright.

Danny and Nick are doing it, why can’t I play ding dong ditch

Jesus Christ mom stop being such a god damn bitch.

I always viewed my parents as overprotective

Thought I was being sheltered and I couldn’t tell why

My dad always seemed a bit aggressive

All because they were doing things just to keep me alive

I was never awarded my adolescence

Coming home from school to added lessons

I wasn’t afforded the luxury of childhood and silly decisions

Because of others misinformed filthy religions

I never knew what it was like to be boisterous and careless

My mother feared some cop would point at me and care less

I could have been just words on a tombstone

Instead of you reading my thoughts and my words being known

It wasn’t until now that I understand why I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes

Until seeing black victims juvenile crimes resurrect all whilst the white shooter didn’t get a court date

I know now.

I know now that my life doesn’t matter more than that of a deer

“Is it hunting season on a niggas ass” wasn’t a joke, but actually fear.

Black bodies no longer hang on poplar trees

Black bodies now lie in the streets

Silence is empowering the other side

So I no longer jail my tongue behind my teeth.

Corpse

As I transition from child to teenager, into young man with no plan
Into grown man to old man into a corpse that’s cold
I want to be able to look back at all the forks in the road
and be proud I chose the right path
Evading evil temptation
Spoon-fed to this generation.
Will I be content with my choices
When you send your rejoices?

Play On Playa

There’s a thousand you’s and only one of me.
I’m what the crowd views, but you’re the one I see
I could arouse you but won’t sweep you off your feet
You see
I’ve been with too many to settle down
To picture you in a wedding gown
Perfect picture posture
Kodak moments fit ya proper
Selfies on South Beach of our feet
And your hair blowing in the wind
Brazilian tan glowing on your skin
Eiffel Tower behind ya
Cold shower remind ya
I’ve been the other nigga one too many times hun
Her man calling while my dick is raw inside her.
And at that moment “deeper” is her only desire
Once I sense myself falling
And allowed it
Incapable again of being that man calling
Insatiable pain last time that’s why I’m stalling
You bitches are fucking evil.
The most vindictive of people.
But you want me to love and trust
What about touch and lust
Cause those random fucks a rush
One night stand
No names exchanged
Our tied hands
No shame remains
I COULD let you in,
You’ll think you can rescue him
Nah, alert my next of kin
Time of death, 4:47am
I cant live a lie
Damned by my pride
Another lie
It’s not pride
Just my defensive side
Your pensive eyes.
Just give it up…
Give it up.

Black in America

Bu97XOeIUAAMgzp

America my dear..
Keep our souls near.
Too many shirts saying Rest In Peace
You see me as a lesser me.
How can that be?
It seems like genocide.
At least from my eyes.
I don’t blame white people
For not seeing us as equals.
We’ve been desensitized
Black people dying is so common that it doesn’t make the news.
Bloods singing the blues.
Prisons are filled with faces that resemble mine.
Even looking through a prism i can see were behind enemy lines.
But I don’t blame YOU.
You will remain you until you see it through my eyes.
I leave the house knowing that a white man can take my life
At any time
Claim he was threatened
And get off scotch free.
To you we are peasants..
“Who gon stop me”
Oh… hi officer.
You say I look lost sir?
All I did was make a U-turn
And look that made you turn
Suspicious?
Hah. One day i’ll taste freedom and it will be delicious.
Your inner sense
And lack of innocence tells you not to trust us…
It’s just us.
My skin pigment will forever mean no justice.
Case closed. Why bring me before a jury when you’ve already judged us?
Why wake up in the morning when I know both my own race and whites would love to see me fail?
You can be as blind as you want. But the words are in braille.

Capturing Scattered Thoughts

I don’t know what you see in me

I hope its more than the scenery

its quite possible here is where i need to be

sometimes.. i feel flustered

cause my mind is constantly cluttered

full of thoughts i never uttered

you got me finding euphoria

while surrounded by paranoia

you never cease to amaze me..

the true definition of a lady..

i don’t really wanna pass that up

i know its love and i’m stuck in lust

damn.. there i fucking go again

i got feelings to but i wont ever notice them

maybe from time to time

i treat you sub par knowing you’re sublime

this could start a war but its worth it

a queen like you deserves to be worshiped

that might occur but i doubt it

i’d rather you whisper than to shout it

nothing last forever however love is timeless

we can last together loving you is mindless

i’ll call you so you can hear my vocal joints..

eyes stuck on you, you maintain my focal point

shes got me going places it usually hurts to go..

not sure if this is love, but definitely vertigo.

you know who i am may differ from typical me

you know way more than just physical me

Fell in love with you, I won’t ever try to climb out,

you logged into my heart, I pray you never go to sign out

I don’t know what you see in me,

I hope its more than the scenery,

words can’t describe how much your love means to me

Although our love isn’t traditional,

the love stands unconditional.

Bed Peace

Staring at your hour glass shape. Not caring it’s an hour past 8. 2 hours past late for work and I didn’t call in. You got something I could slip and fall in. I don’t want to leave this bed. My peace. My serenity. Maybe I’m forming a dependency.  I watch you close like an enemy with hopes you don’t have to remember me. Instead.. I’d rather fall asleep to your hair in my face, and wake up to your morning breath.. sunny days are nice but I enjoy when it’s storming best. 

Too Young To Care

How I got images to uphold,
I still got images to upload,
My Instagram don’t once close.
Last year I had to ask to use the bathroom in school
Now you expect me to make real life decisions
How can you blame me for acting a fool
Textbooks are bibles. I studied what was written.
What was written doesn’t help me in real life.
What I’m living isn’t as simple as wrong versus right.
What I was given seems like a knife to a gunfight.
I’m trying to back flip through taxes
while these asses throw axes
And tell me to survive.
For now I’m alive.

Silent Pleas

You ever been defeated?

So many times

to the point where it depleted you?

Almost deleted you?

Me either..

I guess i just lied to the reader.

Lied to myself as usual.

I’ve filed down my nails to the cuticles

so I no longer cut myself.

How is it, that i love everyone but myself?

Yet, I’m hurt by all

You heard me fall.

The screams, the yells.

Me begging for help.

Or maybe you didn’t notice the signs,

or you did,

you just weren’t focused on mine.

All caught up in life and its hopeless design

and all I could manage to get out were whispers.

Like a cat and its whiskers,

you helped me balance.

You hawked me down and trapped me in your talons.

Brought me to new heights

just to let me go?

well. Let me go..

You were the only one that could save me.

Silent pleas.

Silence please.